The Hidden Link Between PMS, Trauma and Relationship Struggles

For many couples, PMS is a monthly inconvenience. But for Shanna and Julien, it became a third partner in the relationship, silently shaping their emotions, communication, and ultimately, their connection.

Their journey isn't just about hormones. It's about grief, guilt, control, and the unspoken stories our bodies carry when we feel unheard or unsafe.

From Irregular Cycles to Emotional Chaos

Since her teenage years, Shanna had struggled with an unpredictable menstrual cycle. Sometimes her period arrived after 25 days. Other times, it took as long as 80. With no clear pattern and little medical explanation, she lived in constant uncertainty about her body—and so did Julien.

Over time, their relationship became centered around her cycle. Every plan, every emotion, every conversation seemed to revolve around whether she was bleeding or bracing for it. Julien, emotionally drained, felt like he was constantly walking on eggshells.

When PMS Isn’t Just Physical—It’s Psychological

In therapy, Julien shared something unexpected. His childhood had been dominated by a controlling mother. As an adult, he realized that his relationship with Shanna mirrored that dynamic. Her PMS and emotional overwhelm created a space where he once again felt powerless, managed by unpredictable forces.

The very thing that exhausted him also felt strangely familiar. Her hormonal shifts, and his inability to control or predict them, played into a subconscious story he hadn’t realized he was still living.

Shanna’s Inner Story: Fear, Guilt, and Miscarriage Trauma

Meanwhile, Shanna carried her own unresolved pain. She had experienced multiple miscarriages and feared her body was broken. These fears morphed into guilt and anxiety that colored every interaction. She worried Julien would leave. She worried she wasn’t enough. And her body responded with more chaos.

Her cycle became a physical expression of emotional unrest. And month after month, they both lived inside that cycle—stuck in roles they hadn’t chosen consciously.

The Turning Point: One Honest Confession

Eventually, Julien told Shanna something he’d been holding back. He hadn’t cheated, but he had started thinking about it. That simple, painful truth broke the unspoken rules of their dynamic. It disrupted the pattern.

And then something remarkable happened.

The following month, Shanna’s period arrived on day 28. Predictable. Peaceful. Normal. For the first time in more than 25 years.

A Restored Cycle, A Changed Relationship

Month after month, Shanna’s cycle remained consistent. Even after they later divorced, her period stayed balanced. The hormonal chaos that once dictated their lives had quieted.

This wasn’t about medication or diet. It was about emotional truth. Once the subconscious dynamics between them were revealed, their bodies responded differently.

Julien began his own healing journey, choosing to reflect on how he gave away his power to controlling figures. Shanna, we hope, began to see her body not as broken, but as wise.

The Mind, Body Connection Is Real

This story isn't an anomaly. So many women experience symptoms—irregular cycles, painful ovulation, mood swings—that have deeper roots than their hormones alone. Our bodies respond to trauma, silence, and unspoken fear. They also respond to honesty, healing, and new awareness.

When we don't address our wounds, we unconsciously hurt ourselves and those around us. But when we choose to look within, real change becomes possible.

Your Body Has a Story. Are You Listening?

If Shanna’s experience sounds familiar—if you’ve struggled with your cycle, your relationship, or both—know that there is another way.

My Beauty & My Beast explores real stories like this one, shining a light on the emotional and psychological roots of physical symptoms. It’s a guide to understanding your body through a more compassionate, holistic lens.