Could Emotional Pain Be Connected to Painful Ovulation?

Good day, dear woman reader!

This month brings me a new case to share with women who are on a quest to better understand their PMS symptoms. We will look at the case of painful ovulation.

I had originally announced this month's subject as "Where Do I Go From Now?" I decided this new case could show all my readers that there is always somewhere to go when we finally leave pain and suffering behind.

Her name is Tracy.*

She is a very beautiful woman in her mid-thirties. She has a long and painful history that she has worked very hard to leave behind, and she is doing a magnificent job.

Now in therapy for several months, I helped her look at all she was left with after finally finding the courage to leave a devastating marriage to a husband who had absolutely no desire for growth or change, let alone to become a loving human being.

In a nutshell, he was convinced he was O.K., and equally convinced she was not.

It had been many years since her divorce, and she was still picking up the pieces.

Nothing she could do or be was enough. She wasn't good enough, smart enough, tall enough, short enough... or even ovulating enough.

Tracy had endured years of fertility treatments. During the early years of her marriage, she was not ovulating normally and required medical assistance.

There were numerous miscarriages, yet she continued trying.

Finally, the miracle baby arrived.

She saw that little angel as a miracle after everything she had endured to become pregnant.

Yet throughout those years, another nightmare continued at home. Her husband constantly criticized her for not even being "normal."

After more than fifteen years, Tracy finally began believing what everyone else around her had been telling her all along—that she was capable, kind, intelligent, and deeply valued by those who knew her.

She finally realized that perhaps he wasn't right after all.

The separation is now history.

However, since the separation, and now that her little angel had grown and started school, Tracy found herself plagued with very painful ovulation. Sometimes it even knocked at her door twice a month.

She experienced no other symptoms—only that nagging, sharp reminder, month after month, that she was a woman.

I invited her to take a deep look at her history—far too long to recount here—and imagine there might be a connection between her painful ovulation and some hidden benefit her subconscious was still trying to hold onto.

Like many women, she could not see one at first.

After a quiet moment of reflection, something became very clear.

Her ovulation had become proof.

Proof that she was NORMAL.

Proof that she could bear children if she chose to.

No more fertility treatments.

No more believing her former husband when he insisted she was somehow abnormal because she wasn't ovulating like "normal women."

As she reflected on the years of criticism and psychological abuse, she realized she had unknowingly begun using pain as evidence that she was finally O.K.

By the end of our session, Tracy made a new decision.

She no longer needed pain to prove her worth or to convince herself she was exactly as she was meant to be.

At our next appointment, I experienced one of the greatest joys a therapist can know.

Tracy smiled and told me she had experienced no pain whatsoever during her last cycle.

Now she knew she was healed.

Isn't healing wonderful?

If stories like Tracy's resonate with you, you may enjoy reading My Beauty & My Beast: Mind, Body and PMS, where I explore many more real-life experiences and the emotional discoveries that helped women better understand the connection between their minds, bodies, and healing journeys.

If you are looking for a place to explore these ideas in conversation with others, I also invite you to join one of my live Quarterly Roundtables. Together, we create a safe and compassionate space to reflect, learn, and discover that none of us has to navigate healing alone.

Blessings to you all.

Editor's Note: "Tracy" is a pseudonym used to protect the privacy of the individual whose story is shared.

Editor's Note: This article was originally written as part of Pauline Houle's monthly newsletter series. It has been lightly edited for readability and updated to remove dated references while preserving Pauline's original voice, message, and heartfelt perspective.

Medical Disclaimer: The reflections shared in this article represent Pauline Houle's personal observations, therapeutic perspective, and information available at the time of writing. They are intended for educational and informational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice or a substitute for professional medical care. Every woman's experience is unique. Please consult your physician or qualified healthcare provider regarding any concerns about your reproductive health or persistent pelvic pain.