Breastfeeding, Healing & Listening to Our Inner Voice
Editor's Note: This article was originally written as part of Pauline Houle's monthly newsletter series. It has been lightly edited for readability and updated to remove outdated promotional content and references while preserving Pauline's original voice, message, and personal perspective. The name "Rosie" has been changed to protect the privacy of the individual whose story is shared in this article.
Good day dear woman reader!
This month I will examine the case of a young mother who is breastfeeding, whom I will call Rosie. Furthermore, I have questioned mothers who have chosen to breastfeed their babies.
This first young woman, Rosie, has been part of my first research on PMS and had uncovered her intimate history that hid behind her monthly cramps that had become so debilitating.
Each month, she had to take many pills during five or six days so she could minimally function.
She and I had found her cramps were the residual and lingering symptoms that had started soon after her father had sexually commenced abusing her. Her deep introspection around age 20 had finally put an end to her monthly torture.
However, a few months ago, Rosie came back to consult. Some aspects of her life have been going very well but nevertheless she shares she fears having developed a new PMS.
I take note of her words. Breast tenderness and pain, some hours of mild depression and also, she has given birth to a child some five months ago; she is breastfeeding. She is a bit anxious.
So much water has gone under the bridge in the last decade. She has frankly taken care of herself and has put into action some winning recipes within and around herself. She shares being happy and in love with a very different man compared to the father she had. She is happy as a mother and her mate is also happy with their new young family.
Here is her list of sufferings:
Breast tenderness and pains;
Lower back pains;
Some pains associated with her baby not always knowing how to suck and sometimes hurting mom's breasts;
Questions regarding her future, her life, their child, and marriage;
Some anxiety that resurfaces and makes her question her whole life;
Occasional mammary swellings;
In brief, Rosie is mainly happy about being a mother and a spouse but nevertheless appears to question herself quite a bit; maybe too much?
I look at her pleasures:
Happy to have decided to have a child and breastfeed;
She is without menses during her breastfeeding;
(I have learned from other mothers that all have not remained without menses during their breastfeeding. Here is a phenomenon I have explored and you will read further what an expert in breastfeeding has revealed.)
Happy to have chosen a very different man than her father;
Happy to have changed for the better;
Happy to know she does not hate her mother anymore but profoundly wishes not to resemble her.
At this instant, and all our exchange will never be reprinted here, but suffice to say that when and as I hear her describe her anguish and pleasures, my intuition brings me to think:
"What would she do if she did not have all those questions to ask herself?"
I decided to ask her that very same question.
She reflects for a good while.
She breaks her silence with a look in her eyes that is revealing to me.
My dear Rosie shares the following:
"I think that all my anxieties and questioning and all the pains and small sufferings are a proof that I take care and care for my life.
When I was young and my father started to abuse me sexually, I was lost and did not know what to do. I soon realized my mother was not in the least worried and cared for nothing. With hindsight, I see that she did not want to see what was going on and probably neither knew what to do about this reality.
I just understood that if I worry and ask myself questions, I AM DIFFERENT THAN MY MOTHER. If I am anxious, therefore I am a good person.
Wow!"
Wonderful my dear Rosie!
You just put into light all this anxiety system, therefore all kinds of bio-chemical and biological reactions that will go away on their own if you stop wanting to be and stop wanting to feel different than your mother.
You are DIFFERENT than your MOTHER, even before asking yourself all those questions. The simple fact that you have chosen to heal your menstrual cramps has made all the difference in the world for the rest of your life; you have stopped giving a false power to this scheme that could very well have kept on choking you.
Our dear mothers! What would we do without them and what would we do without our children who will in turn put us on trial?
Something certain: no parent is perfect. What is positive in all of this is what each one will decide to do with all this baggage we carry with us.
I am convinced that Rosie will busy herself to relax and take life more softly; she promised me that much.
Bravo Rosie!
Now, as to some breastfeeding mothers.
I learned a lot from these young mothers. Having had no children of my own, some information was new to me. Each bullet is an information of its own:
These mothers that have chosen to breastfeed after having been pregnant for nine months, therefore without menses, have sometimes seen their menstrual cycles start again whereas others were without menses for the whole duration, even for some years;
Some have breastfed until the baby decided it was over whereas others have chosen the number of months they would allow their breastfeeding to go on.
Symptoms that appeared:
Cysts while breastfeeding or after breastfeeding, as well as after giving birth;
Cysts that have a tendency to be provoked by this hormonal change that happens to produce milk;
Inflammatory or abundant bleedings;
Breast infections;
Vaginal burning and dryness;
Improper drainage of the breast creating a blockage or swelling.
On the other side of the coin, these mothers also shared all the benefits they felt from their choice of breastfeeding.
A definite affectionate link between mother and child;
Much less or no preparation to feed their baby;
A definite relaxation while feeding baby;
If baby is hungry, mom produces milk;
For some women, a complete cessation of menses;
A much more protective and healthy nutrition for the child and all the benefits that will last their lifelong;
A subconscious schedule of milk production when baby is hungry even if baby is asleep;
Possibility to breastfeed even once a week as long as it is regular;
A real and concrete decision to stop running around in a crazy schedule because mother has to rest during that demanding time of feeding; it is a possible vacation from the usual rat race that was happening before the pregnancy;
Another great idea I heard from a mother is that she was choosing to breastfeed until she regained the weight she had before pregnancy;
A strong feeling that Mom is doing what is best for her child.
In brief, a philosophy of life that is much appreciated by mothers and some interesting facts without a doubt.
What an expert thinks about it...
I also consulted Chantale Lavigne, a breastfeeding counsellor who was ready to help new mothers if they so wished.
She confirmed that when a mother breastfeeds exclusively, without a pacifier, without a milk bottle, and the baby does not sleep a full night, menses will be totally absent. (She states it is then as good a protection as the pill.)
The moment the child sleeps during the night, menses will start again.
She informs me that it is a myth to believe mothers cannot produce enough milk, unless there is a physiological deficiency or haemorrhage after giving birth.
The demand creates the offer.
It is also a myth to believe breastfeeding mothers have to abstain from a little alcohol during that phase, contrary to while they are pregnant.
In brief, she was open to receiving questions and offering guidance to new mothers.
Once again, this subject that I researched very superficially makes me think that it is again possible, in spite of the very hormonal changes that occur for obvious reasons, that there still can be a link between some symptoms and their inner subconscious reality.
For example, when I questioned one of the mothers who had breast infections, I asked her what was going on in her life at that time. With reflection, she confided she had started to become tired of breastfeeding after eight months and had enough.
Her body was talking for her maybe?
In conclusion
I can only invite all these breastfeeding mothers to remain conscious of what is going on in their lives, with their emotions, intellectually and even spiritually during that phase.
Your feeding milk has no choice but to transmit a part of you. I hope and wish you feed yourself with the best food and best thoughts during those very intimate moments.
As always, I invite you to share your realities by commenting here or reaching out through my website if you wish to hear back. Or join us during a Live Circle by signing up below!
Medical Disclaimer: The information shared in this article is intended for educational and informational purposes only and reflects the knowledge and perspectives available at the time it was written. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any medical condition and should not be considered medical advice. Every woman’s health journey is unique. Please consult your physician or qualified healthcare provider before making changes to your healthcare routine, starting supplements or medications, or making decisions about the management of PMS or any other medical condition.
